The Susan Sequel

I know what you’re all thinking… “where’s Susan? Why hasn’t she written in a while? I love her travel posts!” I love them too. I want her to get back to blogging, so I told her to do it for me. But, for now, I’m making a guest visit on The Susan Sequel, with some words I feel like sharing.

Since January of this year, my life has been a rollercoaster. Now, this isn’t just a kiddie roller coaster, I’m talking about The Incredible Hulk ride at Universal, metaphorically, of course. I lived in four different cities, had two full-time jobs back to back, and spent countless hours inside my own head about my future. This rollercoaster has been awesome. Like every fun ride, it went too fast. And I didn’t have enough time to appreciate all the thrill along the way. Now, I’m finding myself nervous to enter my senior year. How do I go from working at my dream companies to being a college student again? I’m lost on this one.

I’m the type of person that has an answer for everything. There is always a problem and that means there is always a solution. But now, I’m struggling on this transition. My parents want me to enjoy my senior year of college, let go, have fun. I’ll try it, but that’s never really been my speed. Since I was a kid, I’ve had these big dreams. These dreams were always far away. However, as I got older, these dreams changed into goals. Then, the goals became attainable. It’s great to say that some of my dreams have come true. I worked at The Ellen DeGeneres Show, where I got to work under my idol and work with the most talented, kind, and smart people in the industry. I got to work at Comedy Central, where so many successful comedians have had their start.

The thing is, no one tells you what to do when your dreams aren’t big enough. When I was 16, Sick Puppies Comedy owner and director Casey Casperson told me exactly that. He knew I could attain my dreams easily and therefore, needed bigger ones. In the back of my mind, I always knew that too. Now, I’m in this weird place of being so close to my biggest dreams that they loom over me. And I’m scared. To everyone reading this, I’m actually terrified. Terrified of spending a year in college when I could be furthering my career. Or, having fun with my friends instead of making connections.

The vicious cycle continues. I know that I need to go back to college and finish out my last year. Sometimes it’s hard to stop and remember that I’m only 21 and have my whole life ahead of me. Fear is normal, but I think it’s new for me in regards to this part of my life. Is it possible to have FOMO from not being in New York or Los Angeles? Because if so, that’s exactly how I feel.

Everyone’s path is different and life throws different things at you. I know that. I also know that my dreams, where I once thought they were too big to swallow, have turned into a reality and are only a few steps away. And even though I’m scared, I remind myself that my “goals” will still be there in a year. I know this is my mom’s blog, but I needed to share this personal tidbit for whoever’s listening. I want people to follow their wildest dreams. Whether it’s traveling the world, being a broadway star, or CEO of your own business – no dream is unattainable. Unless you want to fly, because I don’t think we’ve figured that one out yet…

Thanks for listening – Hannah Petosa