The Susan Sequel

Like so many people, the holiday season completely stresses me out and makes me cranky. Between buying gifts, shopping for meals or just driving around Boca (have you been near the mall recently), the holidays are trying on even the happiest of souls. Every year, something seems to happen to aggravate me, disappoint me or just generally piss me off (this year is no exception). Regardless, I’m trying to remain calm, stay positive and enjoy the holidays like everyone does in the seasonal Lexus commercials.

Now that Hanukkah is over, it’s time to start my annual Christmas preparations. In case you didn’t know (and couldn’t tell from my last name), my husband isn’t Jewish. Since he isn’t particularly religious, this has never posed a problem for either myself or our kids, who have been raised Jewish (I have lots of opinions and thoughts on interfaith marriages should anyone want me to discuss them in another blog post). That being said, I was raised in South Miami, where we celebrated Christmas at the movie theater and local Chinese restaurant. Until I met Frank, I had no practical experience on how others actually celebrated their holidays (beyond what I saw on TV or heard from friends). And while Frank is an amazing father in a Jewish home (he leads one mean Seder), he also feels very strongly about Christmas Eve. Frank is a first generation Italian-American; his father came here on a boat from Italy when he was 16 and at 76, he still has the heavy accent that would make you think he was only visiting. Rightfully so, Frank is exceptionally proud to be Italian and has instilled that in our kids (who happily refer to themselves as pizza bagels). And, when we decided to raise our children Jewish (a much easier conversation than one would imagine), Frank’s only request was that we continue the Italian traditions of his childhood. Flash forward twenty some years later and we are, once again, getting ready for Frank’s “Annual Christmas Eve Extravanganza”. Yes, for those of you wondering, every year, we host Christmas Eve dinner, complete with all the fishes, noodles and sauces your heart could desire. Frank is an amazing chef and does all of the cooking himself (I do the shopping, the desserts and all of the tastings). To be honest, despite all the hard work, it’s an amazing night with our nearest and dearest (and too much food and drink). I like to complain about all the prep but in reality, I have learned to love it and I’m pretty sure I actually enjoy it as much as Frank does!

In all our years together as an interfaith couple, the only holiday disagreement we have ever had is about a Christmas tree (Frank has always wanted one and I have always refused). Frank adamantly believes that a Christmas tree has no religious connotation and that, because they are pretty, we should have one in our home. However, since this is my blog, I can state without equivocation that he is wrong (he can get his own blog if he wants to dispute this). Here are my thoughts: although a tree has no intrinsic, religious connotation in itself, no one would have a tree if it weren’t for Christmas and there would be no Christmas if it weren’t for the birth of Christ (see where I’m going with this). Hence, in my mind, the tree has actually become one of the ultimate symbols of a very religious holiday. And, since we made a choice before our kids were born to raise them Jewish, having a tree would totally undermine this decision and could have potentially caused the exact confusion we hoped to avoid by making the decision for them. Despite my logic, every year since they could talk, my kids have asked for a tree and every year, I tell them no (I sound like the Grinch as I’m re-reading this). And, as they got older and continued to ask for a tree, I gave them my logical explanation as to why we didn’t have one in our home (this always kept them relatively quiet on the issue). A few years ago, they told Frank and I that since they now knew that they were Jewish and were no longer in a position to be confused, it was time for a tree (I hate when they actually listen and use my logic against me). Despite their very persuasive arguments, I remained a steadfast no. A few years ago, they went with Frank to Target to pick up a few more things for Christmas Eve dinner. When they arrived home, they walked into the house with the sheepish grins on their faces that immediately signaled that something was up. Frank trailed behind them, proudly carrying a two foot tall, silver tinsel “tree” that was, literally, the ugliest thing I have ever seen (picture a silver version of the tree in A Charlie Brown Christmas). Regardless, the kids were ecstatic! Given that it was the day before Christmas, this “tree” was on clearance (and it wasn’t hard to see why). The kids requested that I buy them ornaments for their “tree”, to which, I stubbornly said no! Hannah then marched into her room and retrieved all the key chains she had collected over the years (as little girls do, she collected key chains from random places and saved them in a box). The kids hung the key chains as “ornaments” on the tinsel tree, where they remain to this day (The Ellen Show “ornament” is a personal fav). The “tree” still lovingly sits in our garage and actually, makes us laugh (it’s one of our favorite Petosa holiday stories). And, like the Christmas Eve extravaganza, I have learned to love our ugly tinsel tree (although I remain committed in my belief that a Christmas tree is a symbol of a religious holiday).

I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday, whatever you do and however you celebrate. Enjoy the traditions and history that make this season your own and drink lots of wine in the process! Salud!