The Susan Sequel

Harvey Weinstein is a pig. And, while I would love to take credit for this shocking revelation, at this point, everyone knows what a sexist, vile human he is. With the allegations against Kevin Spacey, Jeremy Piven and Louis C.K. dominating the headlines, the issue of sexual harassment has once again become the topic du jour. Suddenly, everyone wants hyper-vigilance about the abuses long rampant in the entertainment industry. But why now? Is it because the evidence against Harvey Weinstein is so overwhelming? Or, is it because he is a first class creep, who actually hired the Mossad to stalk and harass his victims (this would totally be a Ben Affleck film plot if he wasn’t also accused of harassment).  What kills me is the hypocrisy… what about Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski and Bill O’Reilly? Not to mention my all time “favorite” Mel Gibson, whose anti-Semitism and domestic violence earned him an Academy Award nomination for Hacksaw Ridge (I never saw it in protest) and a co-starring role in the new family friendly comedy, Daddy’s Home 2 (which I also won’t see).  What makes certain abuses more acceptable than others? Why are some culprits more easily forgiven or forgotten? And, more importantly, why isn’t anyone asking for my input?

My very wise friend Debbie and I were recently discussing the #MeToo movement (I love the whole concept). And while neither of us have personally been abused, we either know people who have or have had moments in our lives where we weren’t treated as equals, solely because of our gender.  I have a vivid recollection of one such experience: I was all of 24 and working at my first legal job. I was making decent money and had decided to treat myself to my dream car (in case you were curious, a black, stick shift BMW 318i). It was the first time I was buying my own car and I was psyched. One day, after a snoozer of a deposition in Vero Beach, I passed a BMW dealership and decided to go in (pre-internet, we actually had to price shop cars on our own and rumor had it you could get a better deal in a smaller city). In my dress suit and pantyhose, I held my head up high and walked into the dealership, where Billy Bob (not his real name) begrudgingly offered his help.  He took me onto the lot to see the car I wanted, where I proceeded to ask him a list of well-researched questions (I didn’t go to law school for nothing). Before he even answered the first one, he looked me up and down and, in his best southern drawl, said: “little lady, can you afford this car”? In all my naiveté, I actually gasped out loud. First of all, I’m no little lady. I’m 5’10”, flat-footed, and in my snazzy Nine West pumps, I probably had a good 4-5 inches on him. Second, screw him and his condescending voice! Before spinning on my heels and making a dramatic exit, I informed him that I was a lawyer with a good paycheck and that I would take my business elsewhere (ruminating on the drive back to the office, I thought of so many better comebacks). However, as I got in my car, my rage turned into humiliation and I remember questioning my own accomplishments (his ability to do so infuriates me even today). Clearly, none of this equates to what assault victims endure, but if such a minor incident had a lasting impact on me, I can only imagine the impact on others in much more dire situations.

Sadly, I do not think the Harvey Weinstein situation is going to affect any real change. Yes, he and his ilk are now social outcasts in Hollywood (cue the oooohs & aaaahs). But to millions of real, everyday Americans, this means absolutely nothing. The fish rots from the head, and right now, the head of our country, Donald Trump, is a self-avowed sexual predator.  Sadly, he and many other men, are elevated to positions of power and esteem regardless of their abhorrent behavior. Unfortunately, women are often more than willing to help them get there. For the record, I am categorically NOT stating that women should automatically support other women solely because of their gender (think Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, KellyAnn Conway, Tomi Lahren, etc.). I’m not a fan of any of these women and definitely don’t agree with either their political or social positions; yet, if any one of them were sexually harassed or assaulted, they would 100% have my support. So, let me clarify what I AM saying… when it comes to female victimization, women need to support other women. The point is this: if women don’t want to be victims, we have to stop standing by while other women are victimized.  And to me, this begs the question as to why, when Trump’s Access Hollywood tape was released and 15 women accused him of sexual harassment, didn’t more women believe the victims (or the evidence for that matter)? It actually boggles the mind to realize that after his revolting behavior was made public, women were still willing to support him and look the other way. If it’s not all talk and we truly want things to change, women have to stop supporting sexual predators, regardless of the situation. And, if you did support Trump, and are currently outraged by Harvey Weinstein and his compatriots, perhaps you should ask yourself why and if it isn’t just a tad bit hypocritical.

I’m not going to apologize for my semi-political diatribe. I have strong liberal views and I’m not afraid to share them (especially when I have my own blog). I may often be a pessimist but deep inside, I am an idealist. I want to live in a world where there is no distinction based on any gender, where my children can each achieve their own level of success and where politicians leave decisions about my body parts to me. I don’t want to have to worry that my daughter, who is pursuing a career in the entertainment industry, will be subject to abuse or harassment. Or that my son can’t have female friends, for fear of the same.

If we, or Hollywood, truly want real change, we must first face our own roles as part of the problem. Enough said!